This past week when we were in Atlantic Beach NC.  They had the Big Rock Fishing Tournament.  We got to see a huge blue marlin.  473 pounds!  And that wasn’t the fish that won the tournament.  You can check out the Official Tournament Site Here and the fish that won!

This weekend I had to make the decision to walk away from a dream.  My husband supported each and every step of our decision-making process but each of you know how when the Lord speaks specifically to your heart it’s a very dear thing.  And owning a new home had been something I felt the Lord had been speaking specifically to my heart about.

The prospect of owning a new home with land has always been in my heart.  Finding it had been a different story.  Until a couple of weeks ago.  We found a beautiful house we felt the Lord wanted us to make an offer on.  We knew that He had to make all the financing work because it was out of our price range. 

As of today that financing has not happened and we felt it time to walk away.  Walking away and letting go was an act of obedience for me just like walking into the possibility of owning the home.  It belongs to the Lord and it is His to do with as He chooses.

Neither my husband nor I wanted to walk into a financially devastating situation.  And as of today that is what the new home would have been for us. 

I do not think I realized how deeply implanted in my heart this home had become.  It wasn’t the physical aspect of it but the spiritual aspect of all that was taking place with me and the Lord. 

I don’t have any answers.  I don’t know what the rest of the journey is going to look like but I trust Him.  I trust Him with my well-being, with my sorrow and with my disappointment. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity."
Jeremiah 29:11-14

Today we drove the 4 hours from the beach to my mom’s house.  Tomorrow we’ll finish the trip, another 4 hours.
We had a wonderful 2 weeks at the beach.  The weather was great and we all had a fantastic time.  Today, Father’s Day, has been rough though.  We had to clean the beach house, herd the kids from the beach and into the car, sit in stand still traffic for a while, all before finally making it mom’s to find the cough syrup had spilled all over the clothes I’d put in a bag for tonight and tomorrow.  So I sit here listening to the tumble of the dryer, exhausted and trying to get the last of the children in the bed.  And it’s one of those times I need to remember to be thankful for a roof over my head, a washer and dryer and a bed to sleep in.  I’m ready to cuddle up in my Lord’s arms and to to sleep.

So good night.  Here’s a couple pictures from the beach.

Here’s our youngest son- the surfer dude.
This is my youngest neice playing with our daughter.  Baby girl LOVES her Kensley!

One night we had big thunderstorm and there is a low spot in the road just down from the cottage.  The kids had a blast playing in the huge puddle afterwards.

How do you know if you’ve had a really good day at the beach?
Here it is!!

I believe the term for it is called "Sacked Out"!
IN HIM,
julie

You know, I’ve decided that we choose rest or we choose unrest.

We choose peace or we choose our flesh.

But WE choose.  God gives us that choice.

In all that has been going on with the possibility of us moving I am remembering there have been very clear instructions from God.

1.  He unsettled me and had me begin to look at property around our area.  No great desire on my part to move.  I was acting out of obedience to what I felt him prompting me to do.

2.  He lead me to a house close by that is more than we can afford at present and one I normally would not have looked at.

3.  He told me to take a friend over with me to tell me how to fix something I did not like about the house. 

And while we were there I felt we were supposed to pray over the house and land.  I felt He impressed upon my greatly to pray against the people who then had a contract on the house.  He told me to offer a price without the contingency that our house sell.  Now don’t think we’ve got some big stash of squidola somewhere just waiting.  We don’t.

4.  I wrestled with that one.  But we made the offer. They countered.  And we rejected the counter offer.  Eventually our original offer and what I felt God had told me was accepted.

5.  He then gave me specific scripture out of Joshua ch1 telling me not to be scared and to be strong and to be courageous.

6.  He gave me the peace to list our house with our realtor.  That was done Saturday night.

7.  He gave me more scripture from Deutoronomy telling me to stand firm and not to stray from what He had given me.  It was sword yielding time!

Now, there hasn’t been another step given.  No specific mortgage lender.  No windfall.

I’m to rest.  I’m to choose rest.  I am to wait on him.  I am to obey.  All these are my choices.  Rest or unrest?  Obedience or disobedience?  Do I wait on Him or do I go and try to add to what He has told me?  Do I venture out in the cold on my own or stay under his protective wing.

In the years I’ve been a Christian I’ve learned that God is a God of the process, not the conclusion of the process.  It’s about what I learn each day as I walk it out with Him.  It’s how I rest in the last thing he told me, how I sit there until He tells me to move.  And it’s about the struggle to get back to the place of rest when I choose unrest.

This wonderful new house the Lord is leading us to is His.  It’s not ours or the people who presently own it.  It’s the Lord’s.  He will have to provide the money as well as everything else it takes to live in that house.  He wants the house used for His glory.  And we have the choice to be obedient to walk into our promised land.  And to tell our children what God has done for us.

One thing that has been so heavy on my heart through this whole process is that I never want to be the kind of Christian that will follow my God into the pain but not into the blessing.  I’m not sure if it’s my personality that feels the blessing is undeserved or if it’s just the fallen side of man.  But to me walking into the blessing has been harder and scarier than walking through the pain with Him.  I feel so unworthy.  Why, I ask myself?  Why, would He choose me?

Some people may think this house is about the job God has given my husband or the money he makes.  They may think it’s about wise savings and all that.  NOPE.  This house is about God’s choice to give his children something.  This house must be from God for His use or we do not want it.

Pray that I continue to rest in His grace and provision just for today.  This truly is just about HIM and what He is teaching us.  The house is just the tool He is using.

Always His…….Julie

"Now then, you and all these people , get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to you.  I will give you every place where you set your foot, as promised to Moses.  vs3
"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.  ‘Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. vs5-6
"Be strong and very courageous.  vs7
"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you WHEREVER you go." vs9

My baby girl turned three on Monday.  I can’t believe she’s that big already!  We are so blessed to have a girl.  I love you baby girl!!
MOM