Saturday in Green Bay – WI

I sit here in Green Bay, WI with my birth mom.  She has been battling cancer for something like 20 years.  I met her 8 years ago.  Our story is a wonderful one I’ve yet to write.  The cancer is gaining ground and she just had several operations.  I went with her to chemotherapy yesterday.  The whole thing was quite an experience and made all she is going through even more real.  Since we live so far apart I’m not a part of the day by day challenges of battling cancer.

She has been such a blessing in my life.  She gave me life.  I look like her.  A nurse yesterday told me I have her laugh.

It’s a quiet day.  We are still in our pajamas.  The Auburn football game is on TV.  WAR EAGLE!!

My sweet friend is at my house cleaning up from the movers packing my house in SC yesterday and moving it to our new house in FLA.  The day after I get home from WI the truck arrives.  My sweet mother-in-law is staying to help with the unpacking, unloading and decorating.  I sit here in awe of how God gives us rest, provides, and takes care of things the more we (I) let go of my life.

If there is anything I have learned in this last year it is to live life one day at a time.  There Jesus resides.  The Holy Spirit leads and God smiles.  God always works out the next day.  It is not for us to solve, worry or think on.

My mom has lost most of her hair and she still looks beautiful to me.  She has fought such a valiant fight.  Her strength is amazing.  Her attitude is quirky…sometimes sarcastic, sometimes loving, sometimes accepting, always trusting in the One who is in charge.

The last few weeks has been a whirlwind as they have moved our furniture from one house in FLA to the other.  When I get home the furniture from SC is being delivered.

And in this crazy life place God has provided the needed time with my birth mom, a break from life as we move into our home He has given us, rest, and help when I return.  Not to mention my mother-in-law taking care of my kids while I’m in WI and a husband who’s allowed me to come visit my sweet birth mom.

What is life like when we really let go and trust Him to handle it all?

I want to live in that place.

It’s the best.


Two totally unrelated subjects….

There are two things burning in my mind tonight.

1.  God is so good!  And He takes care of me in such magnificent ways.

The story behind this statment is a recent one.  Rocketman is in Omaha and has been for a week.  So my real estate agent and I took off to see just a couple houses on Sunday.  The kids were at home with a babysitter so I was on my own.  The first house we looked at was brick and a very nice space.  It was dated on the inside and would require updating over the course of time.  We’re not huge “fixer uppers”.  Rocketman is in the throws of a new job and I’m homeschooling 4 kids.  Plus it does not float either of our boats!!

On to the second house. Stucco…not my fav but a pretty house and a nice setting nonetheless.  I was taken the minute I stepped in the front door.  There were beautiful blues in the house, pretty shades of yellow, walls (a must with 4 kids), and 5 bedrooms.  The kitchen was stunning….black marble counter tops, a space for a large kitchen table (which I’ve always wanted), and maple cabinets (my favorite).  The homeowners were also leaving a fabulous washer and dryer and the refrigerator which I liked quite well!!  The icing on the cake was a jetted bathtub….my getaway when I can’t get away.  Everything that was in my heart was in the house.  I felt so peaceful as I looked around and decided to call my hubbie to see if we could make an offer.  We did.  Then the counter offer came in and we countered.  They came back with a price they were stuck on, but willing to leave something I wanted in the house.  I called my husband in Omaha and could not get him on the phone to save my life.  Usually after three phone calls in a row he thinks there is an emergency at home, but this time I received no return phone call.  The house had 4 showings the day we were doing all this countering back and forth.  So I felt pressed to make a quick decision.  We were not far off on money so I agreed.  Two more phone calls to my hubbie and no return call.  For almost 5 hours I had no contact with him.  I was about to bust!

But during that time God allowed me to soak in the warmth of His love and the fact that this house was His gift to me and my family.  The soak time, the inability to talk to my husband…God used it all to cement in my heart the fact that the house was from Him.  We’ve offered on other houses, had contracts going only to have them fall apart and each time I freaked out for at least two days.  This time?  No freaking out.  Only peace.  God’s peace.  God knew this was the only way I would be ok and trust Him with the jump from tiny town in SC to big city FL living.  He knows me so well.  And I am so thankful He does!!!  I feel loved and taken care of.

Subject #2

No matter what anyone says.  No matter the claims made on TV.  Cat boxes and cat litter STINKS.  There is nothing, absolutely nothing anyone has come up with to take away the funk of a litter box!

Of this I am totally convinced as I am with my new home…I know it’s from the Lord.

Concerning cat litter… IT STINKS.

(Told you they were unrelated.)  Goodnight!


When nothing makes sense…

I often wonder what to do when nothing makes sense.  Life doesn’t work.  Family is far from functioning in a healthy manner.

All I know to do as a parent does not work…

What do you do?

When your child won’t go to bed after 3 hours?…..

What do you do?

When you are exhausted, at the end of your rope and about to bust a blood vessel…

What do you do?

When you know God is working all things for your good yet none of it makes any sense….

What do you do?

When you know that you know that HE is GOD! Jehovah………

Yet, this earthly life and body feel so alien to you and the longing to be HOME without sin, without blemish, with the ONE who loves you most….

What do you do?

When none of the puzzle pieces fit…..

“Lord Jesus, what does this weary one do?”


When we flounder

There is a time when we stumble.  We wander around in the darkness like lost children.

Day 1 – baby cardinal’s life

We lay naked, exposed, fearing the worst.

Day 2 – baby cardinal’s life

We fear what the world holds…that things might not pan out the way we want them to pan out.

Day 3 – baby cardinal’s life

Maybe we curl up underneath the covers scared to face the day.  Or maybe we poke our heads out just to see if it’s safe, only to withdraw again under the covers.

But we forget, we are held by a much larger hand.

Day 4 – baby cardinal’s life

One that lovingly picks us up each time we fall.  One that picks up our nest, our egg, and even our tiny bodies and places them all back where they belong… safely tucked underneath his wing, in his tree, under his leaves.

Day 5 – baby cardinal’s life

And it’s in that safety and security we begin to blossom into what he has planned for us.

We may look naked, feel naked.  We may feel ugly.  But He sees us as the beautiful being he has made to be… flying free from this world’s trappings.

We may not look like the beautiful cardinal we will one day become…full of beautiful color, melodious song and wings that fly safely above the earth below.

But we are getting there…

Under the watchful eye of the One who loves us the most.

Photos of the first 5 days of our baby cardinal’s life.  Nest rescued from a tree being cut down.  Bird, egg and nest picked up off the ground numerous times and placed back in a bush, all under the watchful eye of mama and papa cardinal.


In the darkest of the dark…

I had a tough day yesterday.  I listened to two Beth Moore teachings and went to our last Dave Ramsey class last night.  In the tough day and in the pressing into the Lord I listened to Beth ask, “In the darkest of the dark place do you believe God gives or takes?”

Wow.

What do you say to that but to look deeply inward and ask yourself, “Do I really trust Him?”

Am I Abraham?

Do I believe and trust in miracles unseen?

Am I Job?

Do I believe God gives, He can take, and then He gives back ten fold?  Always.

It’s his character.  He’s a giver.

I want to trust Him and see myself as His manager.  I manage His children, I manage His money, I see after His house, I drive His car.

Thinking of myself as His manager takes a lot of pressure off of me.  Ownership implies a more powerful holding on.  Managing implies an openness, a flowing, a giving and a taking.

I don’t want the responsibility of ownership even though I sometimes take it upon myself without even realizing I’ve done so.

I want to be free.  Free to love, trust and obey.

Free to swing barefooted with my pant legs unbuttoned and my head spinning from the love and the grace shown to me by the one who knit me together in my mother’s womb.

“Lord, set me free.”


Fred…the rather large cat.

Fred has recently decided that my office chair is his favorite to plop his big ole….well….self!

Unlike everything else that you lose when you become a wife, mother, and pet owner eventually they take your stinkin chair.

So with out further ado, I give you Fred.  Anyone want to guess his weight now???

Just so it’s all fair and you know what you are up against.  Here Fred is in all his glory in MY chair.

Here is his top story…

Here are the middle floors….take a good look.

And here is the bottom floor…

Look at those cougar sized feet!

So now you have the full view in a big office chair.  What ‘cha thinkin’?  Anyone guessing he’s topping the scales near 20.  You guess and I’ll wrangle him to weigh him.  You’ll have to click on the other links in this post to see his previous weight!  I’ll come up with some yummy surprise for the winner!  Pass it around.

Oh and on a couponing note I CVSed last Sunday and spent 16 and saved 75!!!!  Yippee

Deal??


Odd man out…

I’m guessing everyone feels like the odd man out at times, but, I also wonder how many feel that way most of the time.  How many go through life without seeing themselves as special, God-crafted, different…but for a purpose.

We have been blessed with farm fresh eggs.  When one of my best buddies from SC visited she brought a dozen with her as well.  I really didn’t see the entire 12.  She saved one for me to see.  I think “he”, as we now call him, is quite special.  Yes, he’s different and sticks out like a sore thumb but he’s cute, and green, and that makes him all the more special.  He also reminds me of my dear friend who carried him 7 hours to my house.

For those of us who wander through life wondering why God made us so different I wonder what would happen if we stopped and asked the Father how He sees us.  I’m guessing He sees us similar to that green egg.  Marvelously and wonderfully different.  Similar to others but completely unique.  Sweet.  Memorable.  Fragile and delicate.  I also wonder if we remind him of his Son…..the most special egg in the bunch.  And even though he was God in the flesh, most did not recognize his uniqueness.  Most made fun of him.  Some killed him.

Do you know someone like my precious green egg?  Take the time to tell them how wonderful they are.

Do you feel like the green egg?  Then I have a Word for you.  You are loved.  You are unique.  You weren’t a mistake.  You are perfectly made by a perfect Father who has a specific purpose for your life.  You, dear one, are HIS sweet little green egg.


Love notes

They arrive on my morning cup of coffee way after my husband has left for work.  They are not there every day but most days I find a sweet note I squint to read with my “waking up” eyes.  I love these reminders that he is with me during the day.

He’s a terrific man and I love him deeply!!


On Fishing…

Florida provided a beautiful weekend this past weekend and we had our eyes set on a trip to the beach….not in bathing suits but just to walk and see the water. Clouds rolled in which cut some of the warmth out of the air so we decided on fishing instead.  It’s been a while since we’ve been because it’s just been cold, down right cold.

We weren’t encouraged when the bread we tossed in the water wasn’t even eaten by a turtle but we went through our assortments of beetle spins, grape worms and just plain ole bread!  We were about to give up when our youngest son snagged what appeared to be the only fish in the pond.  We huddled around to see what he would bring to the surface.

Baby Girl is usually the master (only) fisherman when she joins her dad at the pond so she’s gotten herself quite a name in these parts!  (These parts being our family…all 6 of us!)

But the baby boy came up with this prize this day!  Boy was he proud.  Check out that fish!  It had to be ten feel long don’t ‘cha think?  Just had to be!  And no, Lisa, we did not eat him.  He’s happily swimming with his buddy Rocky and his tube shaped hamburger deep within the lake.  Happy as a little camper, just the way you make me.

He’s a looker!!!!!  Especially with the worm we call Hannah Montana in his mouth.  It’s very sparkly!


Leaving…

Just recently I had a new family join my class in our homeschool group (Classical Conversations).  The mom came in with a new baby and a four year old and my heart was immediately drawn to her.  I remember those days of kids in diapers, no rest and feeling like life was passing me by because I was in survival mode….not to say she feels that way, but I certainly did.

I found out last week she and her family are leaving .  Moving once again.  She just got here.

Maybe it’s because we just moved that I can so relate to those in transition.

Whatever the reason I am going to miss her sweet face, her helping heart and her “tired mama”, real life, spirit.

She was an angel in disguise for me.  A reminder.  A way God showed me His grace in my own life.

Missing her brings me to tears!  Bye, sweet friend.  May God make your path straight and your heart forever set on Him.


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