Today’s post is not one of those pretty, fluffy ones….so be forewarned.

I am still, to this day, amazed at the ugliness of man’s heart.  I am not so sure I should be, but I am.  If man hung the Savior of the world on a cross why would we not act ugly when our feelings are hurt and our emotions are running high?

Someone once told me when emotions run high intellect runs low. I believe that statement.

Why do we choose anger and discord instead of love and understanding?

Manipulation instead of Trust?

Why do we choose to accuse instead of listen?

Why did we look into the face of God and puts nails in his hands, thorns on his head, and a sword in his side?  I know he came to earth to do the one thing he could not do in heaven…die.  But we are the ones who killed him.

As amazed as I am at God’s provision, God’s love and His miracles I am also bewildered at man’s desire for revenge, accusation and discord.  When we can choose peace why do we choose war among ourselves and among the ones we said we loved?  Why do we choose hate?  Is it because it’s easier?  I know in my own life I SOOoooo want to give into my flesh at times.

I am astounded at the capacity we have for love and for hate.  We can kill or give birth.  We can speak life or death.  We can pray or we can seek revenge.

The natural man vs the spiritual man.

Flesh vs Spirit.

It’s a lifelong battle, has been since the beginning of time.  How is LIFE lived out in my own life?  Do I act in love as I say I love?  Am I humble when others need something I can give?  Do I give and then give some more?  And then give until it hurts?

Sometimes I don’t know the answer to such deep questions.  I want to be “Jesus with feet” but am I?  I want to show the love that was shown to me on the cross.

And so my journey with life and with my Lord continues as it will until I meet Him face to face.  Through the pain and the joy I look for His face.  It’s there if I only look hard enough.  And when my heart can not see Him I stand on the faith of knowing He is there even if I can’t see Him.

On one of our recent school mornings I read my kids Philippians 2:14-15.  Do EVERYTHING without complaining or arguing.  I did this to help them understand that God tells us this so that no one can criticize us.  And I realize that not only did this apply to a situation in my own life recently where I watched arguing at it’s ugliest, but it also applies to me when I interact with my kids.  Since that day I have refused to argue with them.  It’s changing our lives.  It’s changing mine.  I’m amazed at the words our Father chooses to use.  Words like EVERYTHING.

“Everything, Father?”

“Yes, everything my child.”

And that is where my trust comes in.  Do I trust Him to handle the situation?  Do I trust Him to look out for my best interests?  Do I know He is working all things for the good of those (me) who love Him?

A work in progress…julie