The Scooper is writing about Faith today and since I, like her, watched Lee Kinard, the Channel 2 weatherman, track Santa across the world I thought I’d join her.
But first, a photo…
Unlike Scooper I can not remember how old I was when I stopped believing in Santa. What I do remember is being sneaky and looking for gifts one year and then being so disappointed when those gifts showed up on Christmas morning from Santa.
When I think about the faith God has today graced me with I have to look backwards. As a child I grew up in church, sang in the choir, went through confirmation (should I capitalize that?) but never learned that my relationship with Jesus was supposed to be a personal everyday type of relationship. I believed in God but He seemed far away. When the Bible was read it was done so in such a manner that it often seemed too holy for a commoner like me. I remember a Book of Common Prayer. I remember the Doxology. Today it will bring me to my knees in the blink of an eye and means more to this commoner’s soul than my words can explain.
I visited a Baptist church while in the twelfth grade and felt God pull at my heart, drawing me into an intimate relationship with Him like I had never known before. Two years passed and I tried my best to walk out what was in my heart. But there was college and boys and parties and things I’d never experienced before. Distractions – as they are now called. I strayed. And boy, did I stray.
Fast forward 10 years and I was a pretty miserable cat. I had all the world told me I needed to be happy but I was miserable. I had an excellent job in which I excelled. I earned more money than I thought I would ever earn. I had a boyfriend, a car, a cat. What else was there to have? I lived with the head knowledge and the heart knowledge that I would go to heaven if I died. But something was missing.
I walked through the valley of the shadow death but I feared no evil. Not for the right reasons but because I was walking with evil. Hand in hand with it. Never knowing -deceived.
Many scars later, loads of counseling and I began to realize the one thing I was missing was the thing I had found ten years ago as a senior in high school. I was missing HIM. Abba. Father. Lover of my soul.
Fast forward another fifteen years and I sit here typing to an unknown audience knowing that the One I trust trusts me. I sit on that thought and am blown away that He knows He can accomplish all He wants to accomplish through me. No, it won’t be perfect but it will be perfectly performed by the Master Creator. It will work for His glory. It has been, will be and forever shall be His design through me.
My story isn’t star-studded either. As The Scooper says…..“My own story would probably be a more powerful one if I could tell you that Belief showed up in some magical, supernatural way with glitter and snow-dust and angels or in the midst of drugs and jail-time and a biker gang.” There was no glitter, no snow-dust, no jail time but there was an awakening. A slow and sure awareness that I am to trust Him more and more with each passing day. He is my all and all. And when He isn’t ….. well, that sweet, wonderful, glittery, snow-dust, find-you-in-a-jail-cell Savior of mine gently reminds me. “Come my child. Come. Break bread with me. Sit with me. Be still and know. Let me fight. I need you only to watch. Believe.”
So with Scooper I wish you faith this Christmas season….
Childlike, sweet, peaceful, dancing in your pretty dress faith.
I loved the story (but then I already knew it!), and I REALLY love Danielle in her beautiful red dress. She looks so grown up!!!!