My great Aunt Blanche died this week. She was 94 years old. I think about all the things she must have experienced in her life. She was born in the year 1911….that was a long time ago. How the world must have changed since she was a young girl. I know Aunt Blanche suffered alot in her life. Her husband and her son both committed suicide. I have never experienced someone close to me commiting suicide so I can only imagine how difficult the experience is. I can imagine all the unanswered questions, all the “What if's”, all the looking back thinking “Should I have seen it coming?”. How does one get to the place of peace when something so tragic happens?
After completing my Bible Study last week I felt led to write Aunt Blanche a letter telling her about my faith in Jesus. It was a simple letter telling her I was praying for her and I loved her and that Jesus was waiting for her if she would only trust in Him. I've known several people who have died with such a peace, knowing that were soon to meet their Savior. I've also known others who seem scared or unsure at death. I don't think I can judge or decide these people's spiritual condition. But I could not help but wonder if Aunt Blanche knew Jesus.
My letter, however, did not arrive in time. She died Monday morning before anyone could read the letter to her. For my husband and I this is the second letter written to someone we knew was dying that didn't reach them before death. This has made us ponder God's purpose in us writing the letters.
Was is about our obedience to His leading? Were the letters to be used in someone else's life? Or did we just not do enough?…..the “too little too late” idea. I know in my head that I am not responsible for another person's salvation but I also know I will one day be held accountable for my actions as a Christian. Did I miss His prompting somehow? I guess I have wondered if her salvation was on my shoulders? Isn't that silly? It even sounds untrue typing it.
Whatever God's purpose for those letters I trust He will show me what He desires for me. He knows my heart desires to be obedient. He knows I want to please Him. A friend of mine told me today that if I was obedient to what God called me to do then that is all I am responsible for. Again, it's a head knowledge that has not yet pilfered down into my heart.
I pray my dear Aunt Blanche did indeed know and trust in Jesus. I hope she's standing right beside him when I get to heaven.
In Christ,
Julie
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