Ok, it drives me crazy.

I don’t know how else to put it.  School freaks me out.

They forget to turn things in.  They tell me they know the test material and made a great grade on the pre-test and then make a bad grade on the test.

And the homework!  Sometimes I find them doing it in the morning.  WHAT??  Didn’t you remember LAST NIGHT that you had this to do?

I guess after so many years of homeschooling the lack of truly knowing what they are learning and if they know it until I see THE grade drives me nuts.  Especially when there is nothing I can do about it then.  Ok, so it’s not about my lack of control is it??

Yep!  Unfortunately it is.

It’s hard to watch them do well one minute and then bad the next.  It’s a roller coaster.  Now, if only I had conscientious, studious nerd kids…….

However, I have normal, “what’s the big deal with school?”, “Is it really that big a deal, Mom?”, BOYS!!  Play in the dirt, hit someone at football practice, lets get dirty, boys!  Real kids.

They care, to some degree.  But not to the degree I care.  And where is the line between the life of hard knocks and making them study.  Doesn’t life teach consequences better than I?  After all flunking is pretty embarrassing.

Ok, no one is flunking, except maybe me.  Going from homeshooling to school is tough stuff on this mom.  It IS the life of hard knocks, of letting go, of not knowing, of hoping I did my job beforehand.

Christmas 2008….#1 son was 9 turning 10.  (My youngest son is now 11…sniff, sniff)

Thinking of the luxurious hours I’d have while my beautifully attentive children sat in class and absorbed information like a sponge was a pipe dream.  I no longer drop them off and I’m returning to gather them after laundry, cleaning, running errands and such.  It’s then the rubber meets the road as we begin the DHB Dance.  Oh, you  haven’t heard?  It’s the Dinner, Homework, Bedtime routine.  UGH!

Having known when they were little how much harder life would be when they were older I think maybe, just maybe, I would have basked in the babydom a little longer.  It felt like survival then.  Now I long for those nothing days.  Yes, I was needed in different ways then, but the days seemed full of playing in the yard, play dates at the park, the zoo, lunch in the yard, big wheels down the driveway at breakneck speeds……squeals, giggles and tears…..scraped knees, Dora bandaids and boo boo bunnies.

Naps and kitties…..

Christmas with cousins 2008….

Now it’s school, hormones, puberty, and all the things that come with teens and tweens.  Attitudes.  Moodiness.  Separateness.

And one day they will be off to college and I’ll look back at these days and think the exact same thing.  How does one develop the mindset of eternity, see things in perspective and parent with love and logic?

Well, this gal is attending a class in which I hope to learn just that ….. Love and Logic.

And I’ll share all my wisdom with you if you want.  And even if you don’t want.

It’s my blog, right?

Love your babies!!  And remind me to love mine, even though they are not babies any longer……

We both assumed kids in school would mean rest.

I thought it would mean easy.

God, apparently, had other plans.  It’s not easy.  And tho there is some rest, it’s not what we thought.

Some nights are ridiculously hard.  However difficult, God seems to sweep into our mess and make something beautiful out of what feels so sloppy to me.  I don’t claim to understand it or get it.  I just know He is bigger than my junk.

Raising kids isn’t for the faint at heart.  We pray, we question, we doubt, we encourage, we cry out, we breathe deeply and we try all over again.  We fail.  We scrape our knees.  We bump out heads.  Yet, we get back up and try all over again.  Because that is what parents do.

Who knew giving birth all those years ago would turn into life lessons for us and not just our babies?

For those of you that still have little ones, I know it’s hard, but breathe in the days where they are physically exhausting and not emotionally exhausting.  Sit with them.  Forget the laundry and the dishes.  Breathe in your child.  Enjoy them.  And remember, one day you will blink and they’ll be teenagers.

You can call me then!  I have a big shoulder to cry on!