I don't know if today was as bad as yesterday but it was close. The animosity that began yesterday has certainly carried over to today. And guess what? Tomorrow is our 10 year anniversary. Think Satan's working double time on us? I do.
You know, 80% of the time I handle life okay and can find my joy in the Lord. But there is that 20% of the time that life just is the pits….or seems so. It's hard to find my joy, to keep my head above water or feel appreciated.
When you work outside the home there is the “atta boys”, the bonuses, the raises, the pats on the back. When you work at home there's “Where's my underwear?”, “How about singing me a song?”, “What's for dinner?”, “Have you washed, cleaned, vacuumed, dusted, scraped, picked up, said prayers, kissed goodnight, had sex, changed the diaper, fed the kids, and the list goes on and on.”
It can be a thankless job. And most of the time I'm okay with that. Today, I'm not. Maybe it's because my husband just got a raise. Maybe it's because everyone loves to hear him preach. Maybe it's because he's so good at what he does. Maybe it's because he got an A++ Excellent on his performance review. Maybe it's because I'm a rotten selfish self centered individual with nothing to do but have a pity party right now.
Maybe it's just Satan trying to ruin our 10th wedding anniversary. Maybe it's just life.
Heaven. Jesus. Come quickly. I'm not sure I can take much more.
Julie
Praying that the Lord will help you sort through your thoughts and will minister to you. He loves you more than words can say and His thoughts of you outnumber the sand.
Hope your 10th anniversary is wonderful!
Julie D.
Pray your Joyce Meyer spiritual warfare prayers and celebrate. We all have so much to be thankful for. Being a mom is a pretty thankless task by and large, but Tripp’s a pretty good guy, I know that he’ll say thank you. If not, just put all of the kids in UT shirts and watch his head spin. ; o )
Oh Julie. 🙁 I remember times like these in my own life. They were very hard to take. But oh! they were so good for me. I didn’t realize that I had swallowed some of the feminist nasties out there…I thought I had carefully avoided all of that. And I certainly didn’t subscribe to the “Me first, me best” attitude prevalent in America But some had been planted and was alive and well in there inside me somewhere, and God just dug down deep and killed the thing at the root…thru my husband.
Dying hurts, my friend. But it’s so wonderfully worth it.
Okay, this is strange. But, having only ‘met’ you through your blog, you seem to be SUCH a positive woman. This is your first official pity party? correct me if I’m wrong, but you seem pretty solid.
So, my advice? This is NOT you, or how YOU want to be. This is also not the YOU that your hubby knows. You’re just in a slump.
So, chalk this up to a cruddy couple days and move on. Focus on something that you’re great at. Whatever that may be….good at crosswords? golf fiend? terrific bread maker? can sew anything, anytime, anywhere? really organized shelves? WHATEVER….you get my point.
When I get in my slumps and feel down I like doing puzzles or playing games, that makes me feel smart. That’s a total booster for me. I’m really competitive. Some gals like to pretty themselves up by painting their nails, adding some highlights in their hair, whatever.
Everyone needs a pick-me-up. So, don’t be to hard on yourself. Try something like that and maybe it’ll help with your focus.
We’ve SOOOO all been there. 🙂
nsremom
Happy (a day late) anniversary to you & hubby. : ) I was reading about your “Christian store Bible” post and just wanted to offer you some (((hugs))) and sweet prayers. I hate when hubby & I get “stuck” on a non-edifying type of a conversation that neither one of us enjoy. Years earlier I used to argue back just because. But God IS so faithful. Now I’m more likely to say, “I don’t like to fight with you about this. You love me and I love you because God says so that’s just take a breath and start acting like it.” That usually helps us to take a step back & get re-focused. May God surround & envelope you, (((Julie))) with His unfailing grace & constant love!!
In His Precious Love,
Leslie : )